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Break out of the friendzone (for men)

by Roy Chambers (follow)
Life Skills (77)      Personal Development (49)      Relationships (5)     
With more young people hanging out in groups of both guys and girls these days it is common for someone to find themselves friendzoned. The friendzone is a mythical place where many a person of valiant heart is said to have been exiled forever.

Attribution: Flickr - Zyllan Fotografía

Well ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, from personal experience I can tell you that it is possible, nay, easy to get out of the friendzone.

Here is how to do it.

Note: I wrote this from the man's perspective, though I fully realise that many women are friendzoned as well, but that will be a whole new article.

1: Workout if you are in the friend zone or not.

The first and most important point is that the friendzone is very different from being friends with someone. When friendzoned you have all the trapping of a romantic relationship (you pay, you listen their problems etc) without the sex or intimacy.

Attribution: Flickr - Patrick Emerson

Friendzoning is usually negative and from experience tends to be done by women who go out with jerks. The best example is a good female friend who would move me into the friendzone whenever her boyfriend became abusive.

The advice here is not about going from friends to having a relationship but specifically about breaking out of the friendzone.

2: Don’t be a whiney loser

Do you know why you are in the friendzone? It is because you are not hot enough for this girl. You got it right. This girl would never consider you as a boyfriend in normal circumstances.

Attribution: Flickr - Benjamin Gray

Instead of complaining about it, you need to realize something. You are in a position you would never be in normally. You are an integral part of her life and you have the best shot at getting this girl.

So celebrate your new status. If you follow my advice you will be out the friendzone in no time.

3: Set limits

Being in the friendzone is not so bad if you also think of her as a friend. But if you love her, it is easy to be pushed around. In this situation you are not going to respected by her.

Attribution: Flickr - Nicolar Raymond

So set some limits. Don't complain or be negative, just say what you can or can't do. It is as simple as that.

4: Don’t be a puppy

Part of setting limits is to make sure that you are not a little puppy dog but have your own ideas and things to do. If she wants to go shopping and you don't, then don't go shopping, if she wants to go to a movie you don't want to see, find a movie you both want to see or don't go.

Attribution: Flickr - Jeremy Keith

In the end people either respect someone with their own mind or their respect is not worth having.

5: Be interesting

What sort of person are you? Do you write novels or spend your weekend hiking in the mountains. If you just spend your time on the Internet or hanging out with friends, then you are not really interesting.

If you want people to be interested in you then you had better do something interesting. Now don't just do something to impress a girl, do something that you care about and that will impress the right sort of girl for you.

6: Be sexy (or at least stylish)

As we already said, you are in the friendzone because you are not hot enough for this girl. Well luckily for men being sexy is not all about looks.

Attribution: Flickr - Internet Archive Book Images

So start to dress nicely, examine your posture, buy a cool car and so on. All these things make us more sexy, so try some of them.

7: Be sexual

Being a friend means that you are trusted. It means you have a chance to do things that will make her think about you in a sexual way. Can you do massages, or can you dance the salsa? If not learn, and ask to practice on or with her.

As said before, don't be a puppy, just do these things and move on, maybe even dance with someone else. Every chance you have to show your are sexual being is a chance to attract her.

8: Be manly

What is a true man? Well he is independent, capable, with a enough education and sophistication for the modern world. A true man is a gentleman to ladies but a friend to other gentlemen.

Attribution: Flickr - David

9: Be strong

From personal experience there are lots of women who like a man who is gentle, asks her opinion, and supports her when she needs it. Don't complain though if this isn't working for you with the object of your desire.

Real men are not strong by bullying or shouting, rather, they are strong through will. When having dinner don't just ask her what she wants, instead say something like "The seafood here comes highly recommended I suggest you order that" then when she agrees, order it for her.

10: Make your move (or maybe move on)

So now you are manly, sexy, interesting and doing your own thing. This means the person of your affections won't be the only person who might now be interested in you.

Attribution: Flickr - Phil Kates

Wait until she is free and not going out with someone and make your move. Make sure it is a manly, sexy and strong move and a "Oh, why don't you consider me?"

If it doesn't work out, move on, because you have became the sort of many who can do that.

#Personal Development
#Life Skills
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